Free read õ Eldest Author Christopher Paolini ☆ eBook ePUB or Kindle PDF

Free read Eldest Author Christopher Paolini

Free read õ Eldest Author Christopher Paolini ☆ eBook, ePUB or Kindle PDF Ñ Darkness fallsdespair aboundsevil reignsEragon and his dragon Saphira have just saved the rebel state from destruction by the mighty forces of King Galbatorix cruel ruler of the Empire Now Eragon must travel to Ellesmera Darkness fallsdespair aboundsevil reignsEragon and his dragon Saphira have just saved the rebel stat. Is it better than EragonLots of people have asked me if I liked Eldest better or thought it was a better book Yes and no The writing was coherent and sounded less inexperienced and some of the perspective changes made it easier to read But if a writer doesn't get better on his second book or as he gets older he's kind of a jerk eh But Chris was uite a bit aware this time that he had an audience that his book's arrival was being anticipated with bitten nails whining and drool He therefore did even of that language dress up and song and dance of that irritating demonstration of his belief that the words themselves should be the art rather than the art being the story they describePaolini appears to be convinced that talking in pseudo archaic language is grand and epic rather than HOKEY AS HELL In talking about the novel's inconsistency with place names Chris claims that all of Alagaësia's different areas are sorta mix n match because all the places were settled by different races Umm in real life usually if that is the case then each race or culture has a name for each area and depending on which language the map is in you will see different names While this is of great historical interest he writes practically it often leads to confusion as to the correct pronunciation Unfortunately there are no set rules for the neophyte The enthusiast is encouraged to study the source languages in order to master their true intricacies The source languages The ones that are in your head No one is convinced by this ramble that there is actually an alternate world where these languages are spoken Odd how instead of doing his homework Paolini makes up an excuse for why homework is not necessary in this instanceAnd then he says this One volume to go and we shall reach the end of this tale One manuscript of heartache ecstasy and perseverance One codex of dreams I'm going to die Codex of dreams Stay with me if it please you and let us see where this winding path will carry us both in this world and in AlagaësiaI'll tell you where it's going to lead us Read The Hero's Journey go watch Star Wars study some Lord of the Rings and some obscure mythology steal some words from ancient languages and pretend they're magic words and read Story by Robert McKee and The Writer's Handbook and then write a book ganking one or two aspects from all the other high fantasy you've read and liked That's the formula It should work for you tooInstead of saying Murtagh and the Twins are dead the narration sneakily refers to them as gone That way after the characters have lamented their kidnapping and apparent death Paolini can rejoice in the fact that he tricked us into thinking they were dead but then point and laugh when they reappear on the battlefield and say HA see I never SAID they were dead We know you didn't As soon as they found no bodies we knew they were coming back This was not a surpriseSaphira's magic powers It's been said throughout the books so far that magic comes from dragons and whatnot but that Saphira and other dragons don't really use it the same as elves and humans do It's pointed out several times that the rules for dragons performing magic are not set I suppose that's so that whatever Saphira wants to do she can do period Also Saphira was the one who broke the Star Rose and pissed everyone off But if she heals it she'll be honored for uncounted generations Does this bother anyone else I would think that the dwarves would pretty much reluctantly agree to tolerate her presence if she undid the damage she did and maybe kissed up to them for a few thousand years I somehow doubt that she'd suddenly be a hero just because she's willing to clean up her own messI think my BIGGEST problem is with the incoherent magic system A lot of people have either said this book is NOT predictable which tells me they probably have never read another high fantasy book or they make up a bunch of excuses why it's okay to be predictable because this is a basic story type Sure by all means excuse it for all its faults because it is a hero type story Which of course means that he should do the same things in the same order as every hero of myth and fantasy from Odysseus to Luke SkywalkerA book should not be so based on a story type that it feels like it is following a template; every revelation in this book is of a confirmation of a suspicion than an actual surprise BAD WRITING NARRATION For gray eyed Destiny now weaves apace the first resounding note of war echoes across the land Or you could try to be a little vague please And I think this needs to sound a little like bad teenage poetry No really Is there anything to be understood from calling Destiny gray eyed Do these words actually mean anything If not then why were they chosen First line The songs of the dead are the lamentations of the living Eragon's walking along through a battlefield thinking this Unless I really don't understand something this sentence is an attempt to write romantically but actually does not say anything Eragon's tear was described as A small glistening dome I think I have discovered something Christopher Paolini has never actually seen a tear before And the trend continues in this book for there to be a single tear Doesn't anyone actually cry with buckets of tears and snot pouring out of their noses I wanna see boogers and red eyes and wet cheeks and actual SORROW Not a single tear That's nothing but a mockery of sadness Completely ridiculous simile Slippers flashing beneath her dress like mice darting from a hole First of all why would you compare someone's feet to MICE The dawnless morning Should I even say Yes I should HOW IS IT MORNING IF THERE WAS NO DAWN Why does he think this sounds cool He is so obsessed with making things sound cool that he doesn't even think to himself Wait this makes no sense How is it a 'dawnless' morning He closed his eyes and sank into the warm dusk that separates consciousness and sleep where reality bends and sways to the winds of thought and where creativity blossoms in its freedom from boundaries and all things are possible I don't know Don't you just want to I don't know DIE right now Can you visualize this scene Katrina screamed again and jumped on the men biting and clawing furiously Her sharp nails furrowed their faces drawing streams of blood that blinded the cursing soldiers I cannot see this At all One woman who might be somewhat tough but is not superhuman is somehow biting and clawing several men at once to the point that they are all blinded by the blood that runs from the scratches she has caused Oh and they respond by standing there cursing not say immobilizing her I don't mean to be sexist but surely it would take no than two men to subdue a woman who is fighting with her frickin' fingernails CP the idea is to try to actually visualize this happening and then THROW OUT SCENES THAT ARE STUPID Bright as a flaming sun Call me weird but are there any suns that aren't oh in flames Could we have some similes here that don't forget that they are for description above and beyond sounding cool Hair as black as a forgotten pool Being forgotten does not make water black I bet there's tons of pools around that have been forgotten and nevertheless are not black What exactly does this simile mean Silent as the night Ever been in the night Chris It's pretty uiet in your room with your earplugs in I guess This is silly I won't even go on with this one As the book winds up to make its climax there are all kinds of REALLY dramatic sentences that are so silly they just make me cringe Shall we dance friend of my heart That is the sound of our destiny There is a time and a place for drama But asking shall we dance upon going into battle is one of the goofiest things I've heard in my life This makes me wonder whether CP watches the movies that would be shown on MST3K and thinks the dialogue is smoothThe parts that he's making colorful with zesty little words like proclaimed and apologized and expectorated are not the parts of the story that NEED to be colorful They are middle school English attempts to make writing varied What needs to be colorful is the storytelling the descriptions the dialogue Not the permutations of said It's misplaced That's why editors and publishers look at that as the hallmark of the amateur writer Because it indicates a basic misunderstanding of the whole point of language His problem is that he concentrates so much on making his prose elegant that he doesn't understand that prose's job is to be elegant enough to be invisibleA uote from Paolini In my writing I strive for a lyrical beauty somewhere between Tolkien at his best and Seamus Heaney’s translation of BeowulfWell I suppose we can give him an A for effort We definitely see the trying And last but not least The overused horrific you should be hit on the head by a troupe of 100 literature professors if you do this literary device HAVING THE VILLAIN EXPLAIN EVERYTHING IN THE END And the fact that it was written in such a way that the author obviously thought having these characters charge in as the main villains of the story when everyone thought they were dead just adds insult to injury This sort of writing just insults my intelligence If you didn't see this coming or thought it was a revelation please go find that aforementioned troupe of literature professors and let them hit you for a while I'll join in