FREE PDF ☆ BOOK Fifty Shades of Grey ☆ MBJUK


EBOOK Fifty Shades of Grey

FREE PDF ☆ BOOK Fifty Shades of Grey ☆ MBJUK Õ When literature student Anastasia Steele goes to interview young entrepreneur Christian Grey she encounters a man who is beautiful brilliant and intimidating The unworldly innocent Ana is startled to realize she wants this man and despite his enigmatic reserve finds she is desEed to control When the couple embarks on a daring passionately physical affair Ana discovers Christian Grey’s secrets and explores her own dark desiresErotic amusing and deeply moving the Fifty Shades Trilogy is a tale that will obsess you possess you and stay with you foreverThis book is intended for mature audienc I didn’t want to start this book Many people are praising it but I’m simply not into erotica it’s too cheap for me But here I am in the mind of the innocent waiting to be devoured by the big bad wolf Sounds pornographic doesn’t it? That’s because it is Christian Grey A hot dude that melts a woman’s panties off with just one look The perfect sex toy set out to conuer an innocent girl Grey the sick fck is considered one of the hottest characters out there but he doesn’t get to me His dominance is too much for me to handle and his attitude tends to be annoying and slimy Plus he’s just wrong in the head so there’s no need to add about this creep Anastasia is an immature insecure desperate idiot who wants to become the whore of Babylon She just wants to listen to her inner goddess wtf? and have creepy monkey sex with Grey She has no personality nor will whatsoever she gets excited over the smallest and most idiotic things you can imagine and even though she sees how wrong Grey the sick fck is she still goes for it She’s always mooning over Grey like he’s some kind of god that she’s supposed to worship He tells her that he doesn’t want a serious relationship just sex and she’s still ok with it Why? Just because he’s hot? He’s a damn disgusting pervert He hurt her the first time they made love she was a virgin for Christ’s sake and I don’t buy the crap with it being perfect surely she had vaginal cracks after that and is treating her like a slave Even though he’s a successful businessman and he’s rich and famous he still can be a psychopath Just watch American Psycho and you’ll know what I’m talking aboutNow to pick on one of my biggest problems regarding this book THE CONTRACT WTF may I ask? Signing paperwork in order to have sex with him? Is he a natural hazard or what? I get the whole Hey look at me I’m badass I have my own company and helicopter gig ‘cause the guy is stinking rich but the contract??? Isn’t anyone getting angry with this? I guess not “Why would I do that?”“To please me” Wtf?? All women want to please him? Why? ‘Cause he’s hot? He’s a perverted asshle that’s what he is He’s acting like he owns everyone Aren’t you guys angry? “I have rules and I want you to comply with them They are for your benefit and for my pleasure If you follow these rules to my satisfaction I shall reward you If you don’t I shall punish you and you will learn” Learn this kicks him in the groin Creep “It’s about gaining your trust and your respect so you’ll let me exert my will over you” Heh right eye twitches exert my will eye twitches againAren’t you guys angry with this yet?? uestion for all the people who gave this book great scores If Grey wasn’t so hot would you still have given it such great ratings? I doubt you would So this means that the reason why you love the book is mainly Christian Grey being hot and an uber alpha? Shallow much? Or maybe you’re into all the Christian Grey induced monkey sex and torture Psycho much? But who am I to judgeThis book is just a desperate woman’s sick fantasy to be treated like a sex slave I’m sorry but it doesn’t work for me I DNF’d this because I find it disgusting and degrading PS I have to mention this because some people are too smart to get it MY REVIEW IS STRICTLY RELATED TO FIFTY SHADES OF GREY AND NOT BDSM IN GENERAL So take a chill pill and GTFO

Fifty Shades of GreyEed to control When the couple embarks on a daring passionately physical affair Ana discovers Christian Grey’s secrets and explores her own dark desiresErotic amusing and deeply moving the Fifty Shades Trilogy is a tale that will obsess you possess you and stay with you foreverThis book is intended for mature audienc I didn’t want to start this book Many people are praising it but I’m simply not into erotica it’s too cheap for me But here I am in the mind of the innocent waiting to be devoured by the big bad wolf Sounds pornographic doesn’t it? That’s because it is Christian Grey A hot dude that melts a woman’s panties off with just one look The perfect sex toy set out to conuer an innocent girl Grey the sick fck is considered one of the hottest characters out there but he doesn’t get to me His dominance is too much for me to handle and his attitude tends to be annoying and slimy Plus he’s just wrong in the head so there’s no need to add about this creep Anastasia is an immature insecure desperate idiot who wants to become the whore of Babylon She just wants to listen to her inner goddess wtf? and have creepy monkey sex with Grey She has no personality nor will whatsoever she gets excited over the smallest and most idiotic things you can imagine and even though she sees how wrong Grey the sick fck is she still goes for it She’s always mooning over Grey like he’s some kind of god that she’s supposed to worship He tells her that he doesn’t want a serious relationship just sex and she’s still ok with it Why? Just because he’s hot? He’s a damn disgusting pervert He hurt her the first time they made love she was a virgin for Christ’s sake and I don’t buy the crap with it being perfect surely she had vaginal cracks after that and is treating her like a slave Even though he’s a successful businessman and he’s rich and famous he still can be a psychopath Just watch American Psycho and you’ll know what I’m talking aboutNow to pick on one of my biggest problems regarding this book THE CONTRACT WTF may I ask? Signing paperwork in order to have sex with him? Is he a natural hazard or what? I get the whole Hey look at me I’m badass I have my own company and helicopter gig ‘cause the guy is stinking rich but the contract??? Isn’t anyone getting angry with this? I guess not “Why would I do that?”“To please me” Wtf?? All women want to please him? Why? ‘Cause he’s hot? He’s a perverted asshle that’s what he is He’s acting like he owns everyone Aren’t you guys angry? “I have rules and I want you to comply with them They are for your benefit and for my pleasure If you follow these rules to my satisfaction I shall reward you If you don’t I shall punish you and you will learn” Learn this kicks him in the groin Creep “It’s about gaining your trust and your respect so you’ll let me exert my will over you” Heh right eye twitches exert my will eye twitches againAren’t you guys angry with this yet?? uestion for all the people who gave this book great scores If Grey wasn’t so hot would you still have given it such great ratings? I doubt you would So this means that the reason why you love the book is mainly Christian Grey being hot and an uber alpha? Shallow much? Or maybe you’re into all the Christian Grey induced monkey sex and torture Psycho much? But who am I to judgeThis book is just a desperate woman’s sick fantasy to be treated like a sex slave I’m sorry but it doesn’t work for me I DNF’d this because I find it disgusting and degrading PS I have to mention this because some people are too smart to get it MY REVIEW IS STRICTLY RELATED TO FIFTY SHADES OF GREY AND NOT BDSM IN GENERAL So take a chill pill and GTFO

KINDLE ë Fifty Shades of Grey Ù E.L. James

Fifty Shades of Grey æ When literature student Anastasia Steele goes to interview young entrepreneur Christian Grey she encounters a man who is beautiful brilliant and intimidating The unworldly innocent Ana is startled to realize she wants this man and despite his enigmatic reserve finds she is desperate to get close to him Unable to resist You know I was beginning to wonder if I needed to change some of my two star books to one star I was thinking that I might not ever personally read a book worthy of one star and I was messing up my scale by giving some of the lame books I've read lately two stars instead of oneThank you EL James for proving to me there was something worth waiting for Something that truly exemplifies the meaning of terribleNow hold up all you would be defenders I read this whole thing I did not skip anything I did not skim I read every word I bought this book with the intention of giving it the benefit of the doubt You see I love erotica and I'm not ashamed to say that I both read as you see on my 2012 books I've already read two others and write it myself So I was thinking to myself oh maybe there's a possibility that even though this is a twi fiction rewrite and even though everyone makes fun of it it could still be a fun little guilty pleasure read that I can laugh along withNONONONOThis book is NOT eroticsexy funny even ironically endearing full of sexual taboosThis book IS repetitive plotless well you knew that painful to get through depicting manipulative controlling and self destructive as desirable how to not write a novel how to gain success by using other people's characters barely changing them and then laughing all the way to the bankMost people know about the twilight matchups so I'm not going to go into too much detail but it was actually uite sickening how lazy she was to change ANY story detailsBella Anastasia a clumsy girl who grew up in Arizona Las Vegas with her mother then moved to Forks Vancouver Washington where her dad stepdad lives while her mother lives with her new husband in Florida Georgia She has a younger friend named Jacob Jose with a crush on her and whose dad is friends with her dad because they are fishing partners and police force army buddies and who gave her his old truck VW beetleEdward Christian who is adopted and has a sibling named Emmett Elliott and a sister named Alice Mia also adopted who live with their parents Carlisle Carrick really? CARRICK? We couldn't even change the first three letters? and Esme Grace Their father mother is a doctor Rose Kate and Jasper Ethan are also siblings in this story but have been changed to be friends of Anastasia since in Twilight they already have a convenient different last name than the other CullensAlso he 'dazzles' herI can't even function over the fact that upon preparing this book for publishing she couldn't change one fucking thing to make it even remotely different That was too hard TOO DAMN HARD The similarities in character are so untouched that I am sincerely appalled that she thought it 'different' enough to publish as is It's uite disgustingAlright continuing on and once again I'm sure you've heard this already this book is terribly written Most notably the lack of ability to describe anything other than the few choice phrases she knows how to type He ran his hands through his hair I bit my lip He told me not to bite my lip Oh jeez He grabbed me by the chin to make me look up at him Holy crap I peeked up at him Lather rinse repeat Over And over And over For 500 pages Then there's the case of multiple personality disorder where she hears the voices of two distinct other pieces of herself in her head The subconscious the one telling her she's not good enough and the inner goddess the one that's all into the sex It's strange because I'm also currently reading a book right now Deadline where the main character hears a voice in his head because he is literally insane and it's written almost the exact same way he talks back to his voice who presents herself in italics just as Anastasia talks back to her two italics voices It's funny because she's supposed to be completely normal and yet shares the same schizophrenic tendencies as a book about someone who is completely insane This is sense Check out this awesome short paragraph from chapter 24“Through the haze of light I suint and see Christian leaning over me smiling Amused Amused at me Dressed In black”What are these fragments four in a row What is this punctuation GASP AT HIM BEING CLOTHED Is this supposed to be poetry?Let me add some line breaks for poetic interestThrough the haze of light I suint and see Christian leaning over me Smiling Amused Amused at me Dressed In blackThat's almost betterLet's have another shall we from chapter 24 once “I didn't put that song on my iPod” he says casually and puts his foot down so that I am thrown back into my seat as the car accelerates along the freeway What? He knows what he's doing the bastard Who did? And I have to listen to Britney going on and on Whowho?The song ends and the iPod shuffles to Damien Rice being morunful Who? Who? I stare out the window my stomach churning Who?SAY WHO AGAIN BITCH JUST TRY IT I DARE YOUOkay and now maybe even worse than the writing oh hell nothing's worse than the writing nevermind is the lack of plot Now once again you already know this Do I even need to tell you nothing happens? Seeing as it's based off of a book where nothing happens you can be guaranteed that as we go one step removed even less happens Here is the part where I apologize to Twilight where I said in my page by page commentary below that 50 Shades was entertaining I was at the very beginning I was young and naïve I didn't realize I'm sorry You know how The Office kind of got bad after Jim and Pam got together because there was really nothing you were waiting for after that? This happens by likechapter 2 You're likeokaywhat now we jut have to watch them whine as a couple for the next zillion pages? Okay I can't even fathom that there are two other books written about this couple I literally want to open the window and invite birds to eat my eyes out as punishment for buying and reading this bookAnd now for a bit of tiddlybits I'm going to share some information on storywriting that you guys might find interesting and will help show exactly why 50 Shades has zero plot I went to school for film and we had story development classes One thing we were beaten over the head with about is something called the 7 Sentence Story This will help for any writers that are writing their books to be cinematic or would like their novel to be considered for film purposes this is by no means a rule but a really helpful guideline First you need a problem a conflict A reason to tell a story Once you have that your plot should be able to be described in seven sentences thuslyExposition we are introduced to the protagonist andor main charactersInciting Incident something happens that kicks off the conflict the whole point of the storyPlot Point 1 because of the inciting incident character sets off to do somethingcorrect the problem etcMidpoint here in film you might see a montage but it's a place where either plot point 1 is resolved or there is a transition in the characters way of thinkingPlot Point 2 often an even bigger issue arises or a twist that changes or accelerates the conflictClimax final showdown or decisions needed to be madeResolution everything comes to an end the conflict is settled in one way or anotherBasically if you can tell your story in this way in seven sentences you'll know that A the main point is clear B that your story doesn't wander too much in different directions and C that you actually have a plot to stand on that you can justify there's enough substance there And since that's a lot of vagueness we'll go with a classic captivedominant story to show how one tells a story in seven sentences Disney's Beauty and the Beast First the main conflictConflict The prince has been turned into a beast and has only a limited time left before he is trapped forever as oneAnd the seven sentence story Exposition Belle is a smart girl who rejects the advances of Gaston as she doesn't want to be stuck in a mundane lifeInciting Incident Belle's father gets lost and captured by the Beast in his castlePlot Point 1 Belle trades her freedom for her father and is prisoner in the castleMidpoint Belle starts to experience feelings for the Beast and is complacentPlot Point 2 Belle's father is sick and the Beast decides to let her go even though he's giving up his chances of being with herClimax Gaston comes with an angry mob to destroy the BeastResolution While Beast lays dying his love for Belle turns him back into a human and he can live with her happily ever after Simple right? Of course other things happen but no doubt you can communicate the main story with just these sentences Okay so let's try 50 Shades which hilariously has had its film rights bought already Conflict Anastasia must decide whether to be with a guy who she thinks is super hot but also scares her This fascinating decision I tell you whatExposition Anastasia is a literary student at WSUInciting Incident Anastasia meets Christian on page 7 and thinks he's hot and mysterious and also frustrating It is clear they both have chemistryPlot Point 1 which is sloppy and all over the place Christian chases her down brings her to his house and shows her he's into SM Also they have sexSorta Midpoint but kind of suished close to Plot Point 1 Anastasia must decide whether to pledge herself to him via contract if she wants to continue seeing him Plot Point 2 Nah she's still deciding and whining about how he's kind of scary but continues to have sex with him throughout this whole time There is no plot point 2Climax Well there isn't really one it's just kind of an all over the place endingeither the complicated sex scene at the end with the hymnal music or him hitting with her with the belt the next morning one of the two I guessResolution She says he's too weird and ends it What a complex thrilling and incredible plot full of depth SHOULD I HAVE CUT THAT FOR SPOILERS? OOPS? Did you even care? If you've gotten this far nopeBut guess what We know that there are two other books and they get together and lesson isn't really learned so AWESOME COOL I guess that's how she gets people to buy the next ones because hot diggedy I can't wait to see them get back together and whine some And let's talk about the sex for a moment Nothing forbidden actually happens that you'll be like ohhhh how scandalous I want to try that For the most part it's pretty much all basic stuff or basic toy play because basically he's taking it easier on her since she's inexperienced Except for the belt part at the end I guess which just doesn't sound funAnd you already heard about the tampon so like that's not even a surprise although imo it's not a big deal anyway Out of all the women having sex on their periods regularly I can guarantee you there are uite a few men that are tasked with taking the tampon out and throwing it aside I was actually upset about the fact that she is sleeping completely naked in a hotel room bed on day two of her period As if that isn't going to be a mess in the morningOkay lest I go on as long as the book you get the point If you want to see my commentary while reading it is below However a few things I cannot stand how much the author being middle aged shows from the point of view of this 21 year old “I'm gonna buy plane ticketson the Internet” ARE YOU NOW? WHOAOOOAOAOA Don't get crazy on us I might be too overwhelmed by this turn of events “I fired up my email” BLAZING SPEEDS REUIRED They actually do the “you hang up” “no you hang up” “no you” that gross couples tend to do And it was expectedly gross Someone on ONTD who liked this book yelled at me because I said that Christian is not a dominant they also said I wasn't 'experienced enough to understand' lol okay like you know who I am anon I still stand by that statement It's not what he's doing it's how he's doing it He is deeply troubled whiny and manipulative and while he does love control it's for the wrong reasons He was abused as a child and sexually abused as a 15 year old and vastly denies it and because of this he justifies his activities as personal preference when he is in fact a bit too fucked up to currently have a relationship He ends up making the naïve Anastasia batshit crazy because he continues to string her along trying to convince her they want the same things instead of getting himself some help He gives her the illusion that she has the choice to back out but then turns around and says ha ha I'm joking but I know where to find you by the way She goes to visit her mother because she needs a break from him to think and what does he do? Flies out there using his roundabout stalker way of finding information about where she's at like he always does to meet up have sex with her and take her out with him She's supposed to be visiting her mother and having time to think yet he can't stay away and makes this about HIM taking her away from time with her mom whom she hasn't seen in 6 months I can't at this selfish fucking bastard because he just can't stay awayIt makes me mad just thinking about someone that clingy Which is another thing that pisses me off almost everything about their whining and relationship conversations reminds me of everything I've hated about past relationships I've had How does ANYONE enjoy this book? How does anyone think that this is sexy that this depicts something they want?I can't evenI cannotAlso I should never have imagined Chuck and Blair from Gossip Girl as the main characters Now everytime I see a commercial for Gossip Girl rage courses through my bodyI'm bored Someone get me out of herePS Did you know that James recently stated she's set the bar for writing pretty high?CoolPlease do yourself a favor and go buy a book of much higher uality plot and writing ohhhh likeModelland KINDLE ë Fifty Shades of Grey Ù E.L. James

E.L. James Ù Fifty Shades of Grey READER

E.L. James Ù Fifty Shades of Grey READER Ana’s uiet beauty wit and independent spirit Grey admits he wants her too but on his own terms Shocked yet thrilled by Grey’s singular erotic tastes Ana hesitates For all the trappings of success his multinational businesses his vast wealth his loving family Grey is a man tormented by demons and consumed by the n Garbage Absolutely horrifying utter trash A waste of trees bookshelf space and precious oh so very fucking precious braincells Honestly why is this even published? Every single book store in Sydney is promoting this tripe claiming it to be some kind of awesome romance novel Are you absolutely shitting me? There is nothing romantic at all about this 'book' And I don't mean the BDSM erotica themes I mean the fifty levels of abuse in this friggin' thing In fact that's what this book should be called 'Fifty shades of absolute fucking insanity and abuse' I know at least every one star reviewer has taken the title and created their own pun with it but fuck it I'm jumping on the bandwagon too Before I decided to read this God help me I kept seeing it everywhere I went and the book store where I work was involved in the promotion among other book store chains Typical All me and my co workers knew that it was smut and a hell of a lot of it too We even turned the book into a drinking game and it goes as thus Flip to a random page of the book If it's something dirty take a drink I do not recommend this game for one could die from alcohol poisoning within the first round But if you're feeling adventurous by all means Glad I could be of service to your crazy party ideas But anyway let's cut to my opinion of this abomination of literature I decided to read it because it sounded like garbage and I haven't written a review about garbage in too long I owed something to the people who actually found me worthwhile to follow on Goodreads So I decided hell I'll review this Brain cells I will never ever EVER get backThis is literally the worst book I have ever read and I say that about many books But this is the worst book for a damn good reason Let's talk about what I hated about this book The bottom line is I hated absolutely everything And I'm not saying that to be funny I'm saying that out of all seriousness I didn't find a single redeeming uality in this book With the Hush hush series we at least had the unintentional hilarity and the awesomeness of Marcie In Twilight we had that chick who wanted to kill Bella and Tyler's van Fifty shades of Grey has no such redeeming ualities The characters are bland and merely props to set the stage for fucking weird BDSM ing and the plot was lost somewhere in the vagina of the author's wet dream Believe me I feel weird for even typing these words Not to mention even though everyone already knows this this was originally a Twilight fan fiction called 'Master of the universe' or some shitty stupid title like that How did such a thing get published? What Twilight wasn't horrible and abuse glorifying enough so we had to kick it up a notch with publishing 'Master of the universe'? Are you people serious? Why is it that dumber and dumber things are getting published? uality is almost non existent Fucking hell But before I rant on for hours about that let's talk about the characters Oh I mean props Yeah props is appropriate Why? Because the characters for all the personality they had may as well have been props Our first main prop is Ana aka Bella Swan The plain virginal wallflower who thinks lowly of herself whilst everyone around her just seems to freaking worship her She is also clumsy reads books has divorced parents doesn't get along with her step father and is a brain dead moronic twat Remind you of anyone? I wonder who you're thinking of That is a humdinger isn't it? I'm amazed how many women are not pissed off with her complete lack of sense and self respect She lets a man abuse her physically and emotionally and allows him to satiate his ever growing need to control her completely passing it off as some cute obsessive habit And even if she has doubts and runs away she comes running back to him only seconds after How are people not pissed off about this? Seriously? Not to mention she has zero personality zero brain cells and zero common sense Her character serves no purpose other than becoming some abusive asshole's sex toy And let's not forget our second main prop Christian Grey aka Edward Cullen aka creepy stalker sociopathic megalomaniacal abusive horrifying asshole The fact that he has fangirls in the real world has pretty much ruined my faith in mankind and the new generation Christian Gray pretty much pushes the limits that Edward Cullen Patch Daniel and others have yet to push due to their PG ratings but fuck does Christian Grey push those fucking limits He physically abuses Ana and it somehow gets excused on the account that she was briefly aroused by it SERIOUSLY PEOPLE?? SERIOUSLY?? Fuck my life He also decides what she should eat what she should wear how she should act speak communicate with him where she can and can't go or what she can and can't do threatens her constantly even with physical violence and the list goes on I kid you not He even has this set out as a contract which by the way is repeated at least 5 times in the fucking book Here's another example of how romantic this mother fucker is I like the control it gives me Anastasia I want you to behave in a particular way and if you don't I shall punish you and you will learn to behave the way I desireSee? Romantic as freaking Mel Gibson And by the way the women who find this guy romantic need some serious therapy Seriously Harsh I know but finding this guy romantic is like like excusing the actions of a child molester because he has nice hair This is not romantic This is ABUSIVE and WRONG on sooooo many levelsI don't know why they decided to plant this book in the general romance section This is not romantic And don't give me the 'IT'S MEANT TO BE BDSM SO IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE ALL DOM VS SUB' This goes way beyond the good ol' BDSM theme and just ends up treading into abusive territory Christian takes these aspects into the relationship where he ends up not only controlling a woman sexually but also emotionally and deliberately moulding her into not just a sex partner but an ideal of what he wants her to be and leaves her no room for her individuality and instead brands it as 'punishable' That's not part of the BDSM jig I'm sorry but it's not Why people even call this romantic is beyond me I already mentioned the abusive aspects of this so called relationship but other than that it was a relationship built on air Since neither of the characters had any personality outside their sex drives they had nothing that they saw in each other They couldn't relate to each other they didn't share any common interests they didn't do any good for each other outside the sexy stuff And at the end they want to pass it off as though the two are actually in love? Give me a break Watching people get swooped at by magpies is romantic that this garbageThe plot? There was no plot Seriously I could not find it ANYWHERE I searched and searched but alas my search has left me unrewarded Let me explain in a uick paragraph how this book goes'Girl meets some guy Some guy is hot Girl thinks some guy is hot Hot some guy shows up where girl who thinks some guy is hot works Hot some guy asks out girl takes her virginity Stuff happens Hot some guy introduces girl who thinks he's hot by the way to his BDSM sex dungeon and the next half of the book is spent pondering whether or not girl who thinks some guy is hot in case it wasn't mentioned enough in the book wants to indulge in hot some guy's fantasies Also the hot some guy takes complete control over girl did I mention she thinks he's hot? who seems to be totally okay with it More stuff happens Girl gets spanked too hard breaks up with hot some guy The end'That's it That's the whole book And the whole 'Ohhh Christian has secrets' bullcrap in the blurb? Bullcrap His secrets are mentioned in only 5% of the book and drive the plot nowhere The book is only about how some asshole wants to control some stupid girl The other characters are barely relevant They were just props whose only role was to be interested in the 'relationship' between Ana and Christian They didn't seem to be interested in anything else They could be buttering toast and thinking 'I wonder how hard Christian is fucking Ana right now'An absolute waste The media might be promoting this tripe as the new hero of literature but this is and always will be just another wart on the ass of literature along with Twilight and all its' descendants You know what they say you can polish a turd but it will still be a turd